Happiness is not external.

The world outside of my window is fast paced, constantly changing, constantly evolving.  My take on reality is that nothing we do in this life is ever going to matter here, or anywhere fucking else for that matter. But, I will be god damned if I let that beat me down. Happiness is internal. There are no outside sources that can effect who we are. None outside of me, and none outside of you.

I think the point of this life is…to enjoy it. I dont think there is any huge metaphysical conundrum, no scientific or religious or spiritual explanation. No huge “meaning of life” that we all search for. Its right here…its right in front of us.

We are given this. Lets enjoy it. After all, dont you think thats really the point of it all?

“It’s all about love. love. love. love.
Don’t ever let anything be more important”.
- Jeff Buckley

So, I am starting to feel a little bit of anxiety about the trip to New Orleans. Ive got eleven days before I go, yep. 11 days..and one paycheck thats minus about 60 bucks due to fucking leap year. Ugh. Sixty bucks isnt that much..but thats gas in the tank. And, it seems like ive got so much to do before I go…

Get the oil changed in the car.
Get the tires balanced, rotated.
Get an  alignment.
Get it detailed, inside and out.
Get four new tires.
Get SEAT COVERS. Im so fucking sick of dog hair and shit getting spilled in my car its not even fuckin funny so im gonna get some fake leather seat covers…just something slippery so that shit cant sink in and stick to it.

I always get so nervous before trips and stuff because I feel like im not gonna have enough money, blah blah blah. Just..ridiculous crap.  I also have to figure out how in the hell im gonna get my laptop working. Id love to somehow get a mac. But, I doubt thats gonna happen. God..I want a mac so bad. This last PC problem has me COMPLETELY sold on getting a Mac. I  just dont have the money…and I never will.