I love angelina jolie she is such an awsome humanitarian!! I think its great that she adopted all those children from other parts of the world in her effort to do her part to save mankind.

She is sort of like a role model for me, I guess. Since, one day I hope to marry brad pitt and adopt 10 kids from all over the world.

Well, my boyfriend and I went over to my old apartment and got out everything that was left. There really wasnt much, some cleaning supplies and the kitchen table. I sat in there for a while and as much as I didnt like that place and as happy as I am to be living elsewhere..that apartment was just so..”me” and I had a lot of memories there. So its kind of weird to remember, and think about what I was doing at the time..bad arguments, great times..just everything on the timeline of my life..

So, I guess I am *officially* out of there now…

I have a couple pet fish. I have, two black moors, two golfish (three until one died), an albino corydora, a chinese corydora and an algae eater. A while ago, one of my black moors eye went missing. It didnt look like it deflated, it just looked like it had fallen right out of the socket. I had cleaned the tank the day before so I looked around for his eye but I couldnt find it..so..I figured one of the fiesty ass goldfish attacked him and I moved them to a seperate tank. Sadly, they were kind of neglected. I did not care for them like I should have, it killed one of them. The whole time I was moving I also just left them sitting in that cold apartment. I am ashamed to think I did it.
Anyway, tonight they were still alive. So I brought them to the new place and put them back in their original, well cared for tank with all of their friends. They already look much happier. They are my trooper goldfish.

Anyhow..we didnt get finished moving until like…3 because Soda couldnt get his moms car until about 1 (she was downtown at some CRS seminar event)…I have to get up early tomorrow (today) and go to some caregivers class on how to care for people with different cancers and stuff..I gotta get up in a couple hours actually.

Guess I need to go to bed.

Our culture and our society has NEVER respected women the way that we should. In other cultures there have been Goddesses. WOMEN. Goddesses are worshipped by MANY people, men included. These men were taught to kiss the feet of the women they worshipped and each and every woman in their lives were to be treated as living embodiments of the Goddess. In other cultures women have been venerated and worshipped for centuries, no matter how they looked. Goddesses were not and are not always depicted as beautiful, thin, radiant women..no way..Goddesses throughout history have always been portrayed as looking the way women REALLY look. If you look at cave paintings and sculptures of Goddesses from Catal Hoyuk (Turkey) the Goddesses are very round bodied, not slim and petite. As a matter of fact, most ALL sculputres of Goddess from the Neolithic time period were..”fat.” (for lack of better terms.)
In the Hindu universe, in Sanatana Dharma, the woman has ALWAYS been worshipped and their image of what is “beauty” is completely different from the Western or American ideal of what “beauty” is. The Goddess has almost always been depicted as a stout, big boned, warrior type woman…

Here in America..we simply dont have that kind of ideology and its really a shame.
Our idea of what women should look like dont come from historical or religious figures. There IS no powerful woman in “western” religion. Mary Magdalene was labeled as a whore despite the fact there is no information in the Bible to support such claims. Are there any powerful women figures in Islam? We all know the answer to that one. And, the only powerful woman figure in Judaism was cast off as a demon because she disobeyed Adam and wanted to have some sort of control on their relationship.
There is no real “Goddess” figure in our western society. Woman started out as a very oppressed being in our western world and up until recently WOMAN was not even allowed to VOTE. There has never been worship of women in our society. Our society was built by men who worshipped an unmarried virgin, what would he know about women? The only idea of women we have came from barbaric ideologies and religions that were brought here by merchants from the Middle East, Muslims who keep their women covered and rule over them at all times, and East Asia where they tied up womens feet and abort female babies (this is only some parts of East Asia, I do realize there has been goddess worship in many east asian animistic religions as well as forms of Buddhism, etc).
Our idea of how to treat women came from the Bible where it gives thorough instructions on how much you should sell your daughter for.
There hasnt really been any real venerated women in our society. There has been NO woman worship. Its almost as if woman is soley looked upon as a sexual being.

The closest thing we have to Goddesses in this country are fake, plastic airbrushed women who give off the idea that women should be perfect. They should have blonde hair, blue eyes, they should be thin, preferably under 130 pounds, big boobs, nice body, and be willing to spread her legs to any man that has anything resembeling a penis.

Thousands upon thousands of magazine covers have convinced women in this country that your stomach has to be flat in order for you to be accepted. You have to lose weight in order to look good. You have to be skinny in order for a man to want you. Your nose has to be turned up and cute! You HAVE to be able to SEE your cheekbones! Aging is looked at as disgraceful and ugly. There are massive amounts of anti aging and anti wrinkle products in this country that have made women ashamed of their age instead of PROUD that they have endured that many years on this earth and have earned every fucking wrinkle on their face. A woman in this country never accepts her position as a mother and tries to live through their youthful daughters. Women in this country are embarressed to be in photographs because the “camera adds 10 pounds.” We have women who want to spend THOUSANDS of dollars on their PHYSICAL beings. Knowing good and well that for the majority of people their physical looks just dont last past a certain age. And, once that is gone..what will they have? They will be worse off than when they started. Instead of being a bitter old bitch they will be a bitter old bitch whos flesh is rotting off to reveal all the plastic she had hammered underneathe there when she was 20.

The image of women in America has created a society of young girls who resign themselves to puking every meal in the toilet JUST so she can look like Kate Moss. The image of women in America has created a fictitous, superficial, sad and pathetic mindset that many women of this country succumb to EVERY DAY. Its sad and its created extremely shallow people, people who would rather work on their outside, an outside that will change VASTLY in 50 years, as opposed to working on their inside that will only better with age.

Anyway. I just had to rant about that. I think its sad. People wonder what the future of America will be like? Well, we better all get the crap outta here because its not looking too bright.

I like baked beans because..

When I get the munchies in the middle of the night and I crave something sweet, I can eat baked beans and since they have brown sugar in them, they are very sweet to the taste.

They are REAL FOOD. So, when I crave something sweet I can just eat baked beans instead of a chocolate bar that will ruin my teeth and rot my stomach.

They are a healthy, sweet alternative to midnight snacking.

That is why I like baked beans.

Ok..I have a real rant to go on here. I have written about this person before in my blog, but not this one..I wrote about this person in my LJ and I think it was close to one of the last entries I wrote there before I moved..so If you want a little background information on this entry check out my livejournal.
you should always treat the people you love with respect because you never know when they may leave you! the very first time you disrespect them…

they may remember that always, from that moment on.

Tonight I have found myself crying because I will probably never go to India. Probably never.

India has been a huge part of my life for years now and I know everyone thought it was just a phase but India has overcome and BEcome a staple in the way I think, the way I live, and the way I wake up every morning to greet the sun. Hinduism has molded me, finally, into a somewhat emotionally stable person who revels in life, its lightness and its darkness, its perfection and its evils. India has guided me to my own personal love and adoration for her. Hinduism has guided me to my own inner peace and identity with the divine.

I would absolutely DIE to go to India. A lot of people say horrible things about India like…”Oh! You will get diahrreha! People piss in the streets in India! The Ganges is so dirty, dead bodies are in there! Indians stink, why would you want to go there? Arent you afraid of terrorism? Shouldnt you be afraid because you are white? Why would you want to go to India???!!”

I would probably get diahrreha if I went to India. The shits are nothing new to me. I would  be absolutely elated to get the green apple splatters..IN India.
My boyfriend pisses on the streets here.
Im sure there have been more than a few bodies pulled from the Cumberland river.
I would be no more afraid of terrorism there than I am here.
Why would I be afraid to go to India because I am white? Indians love gori’s.
I want to go to India because it is unlike any other place all over the globe. I want to see the contagious smiles of Hindus, I want to feel the hustle and bustle, the rickshaw rides, I want to buy a murti of Ganesh from a street vendor, I want to see the bright colors of the textiles, I want to experience the raw spiritual culture that is India and has MADE India unlike anywhere else for an eternity. But most of all, I want to experience the land that I have spiritually identified with for the better years of my life. Just to see the sun in India, my life would be complete.

So, whats keeping me from going there? I dont know. But I seriously think I am going to suck it up, save money, and FUCKING GO TO INDIA. Im gonna find out how much it is, and work my ass off saving money until I can go for about three weeks. I keep saying, every year that im gonna go. But I HAVE to go. There is no way I could leave this world still wondering what it is like to visit India. You really only get to consiously live life once and…God..I couldnt imagine…

Last night, I totally had an ephiphany.

Soda and I went over to one of his friends houses to just chill and smoke some bud. I had eaten about..one whole 20 peice mcngget and drank maybe..two pepsis and I was STUFFED!!  So, yeah, I was feeling niiicee and relaxed. So, Soda and I went over to his friend Scarys house and it was full of cool poker playing guys. There were a couple girls there all huddled together in typical girly fashion..so I just went and sat in the living room with Soda and his friend Scary. Soda worked with Scary for like two years and Scary was on some anti depressants and various different medications to help his depression for like three years of his life. As he put it..he felt a lot better after taking them and one day he even donated a bunch of money to hurricane katrina survivors. Scary started talking about how you have to only live your life for yourself. Deal with everyone in a cool, respectful manner, dont act like youre above anyone and just deal with everyone as if they were your friend. He said doing that lets you take advantage of your life and your surroundings.

I hate to sound like a hippie, but everyday I am more convinced that I am just a tree hugging hippie at heart. But truly, Love and Peace are the only ways to go!!!!

Is there anyone out there, besides me of course, that listens to coast to coast AM with George Noory?

I was listening the other night, and Art Bell was hosting the show. I think he hosts on weekends or something I cant remember. Anyway, a guest on his show was a guy who said hed been in contact with aliens for about 15 years and he had a theory that UFO sightings and alien encounters happen because of the intent of the people being visited. Art Bell also shared the same belief that encounters happen because of the projected will and intent of the people who encounter the ships or beings. Art Bell decided to have a “mass consiousness” type experiment where he asked his listeners (probably about 15 million people, or so) to turn off their radios for about 9 minutes during a commercial break and concentrate on sending positive intent to extra terrestrial beings. So, I participated.
Anyways, about 10 minutes after the experiment, mass UFO sightings were reported on all sorts of internet sites. It seems like the first report of a UFO came from Vancouver, BC..two of them, hovering slowly at about 20mph across the sky.

Anyways, I dont know why I felt like writing about that. I just did.

Anyone else in the land of nye tune in to coast to coast?

Well I am officially moved. Even more official than my last entry. If you want to see a picture of my living room check it out http://www.flickr.com/photos/lesterluigi/393422827/ but it may pop up on my random pictures.

I havent done really…anything the past couple of days other than move. So, theres nothing even mildly interesting to report.

I like my new place. I feel very comfortable here, I can have my front door open..its pretty nice. Oh yeah..the monitor to my desktop computer is BROKEN. Its beyond all repair so im gonna have to just suck it up and buy a new one.
Im also not really sick anymore so that means..back to doing my own work..starting today especially. Matter of fact, Soda is bitching at me right now to get off the computer and get ready to leave..so I guess thats whatI need to do.

Be back later.

Drugs are BAD!! I really dont understand why anyone uses them.

They should rely on God and Jesus instead.